my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
