He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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