He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
