More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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