Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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