Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
