he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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