it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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