it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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