Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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