Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
