I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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