Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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