just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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