the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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