so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
