I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I currently don't understand fingers.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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