These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
