The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
