My hand turned me down
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
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