I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
