If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
