My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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