I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
