Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
