Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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