Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize