I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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