Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize