Soap is not a condiment
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
