And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
