careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
