My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
