I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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