And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
