i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
