I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
