I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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