You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
