He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize