My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I want her autograph on my taint
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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