Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i came on her dog
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
