hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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