he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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