no. you can't hotbox the world.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
