I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
