Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
