There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
