I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
