Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
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