plz talk dirty to me
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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