I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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