i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Randomize
