i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
