I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
