Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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