you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
