He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
