operation harelip BJ is a go
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
