I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
