I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
