Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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