We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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