We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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