I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
