is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
