so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
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i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
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I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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