He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
