I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
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And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
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My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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