the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
