I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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