96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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