Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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