i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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