she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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